Deeper than the Surface

As years go by, it is natural for one to move up in the ranks of leadership, and it seems as if this past week has seen a lot of that coming to fruition for me, not all of it being positive. I've always felt that leadership is misunderstood by a lot of people or maybe that I just didn't quite know what I expect a leader to be. The title "leader" seems to have a sort of stigma or double standard attached to it, but the more and more I think about it, I feel more confident that I've discovered one of the greatest underlying principles of leadership; that is, it's not about what you do, but how you do it. I know, how creative and astute a revelation I just announced, right? But as simple of a statement as it seems, it really made something go off in my head. A few weeks back, I volunteered with a friend/co-worker to plan a training session for work. As the planning stages went on, I was so focused on the event and presentation and proving myself to others that I feel as though I forgot about actually being a leader. I did almost everything by myself and even though the event ended up being a huge success with great attendance and a lot of learning taking place, I still deem the event as a whole to be a "failure". 

I feel in this situation, I was supposed to be a leader and a role model, I was supposed to be part of a team, I was supposed to motivate myself and others, and I was supposed to create a successful end product; very little of that happened. This is where the "it's not about what you do, but how you do it" analysis comes into play. On the surface, a great training session took place and everyone involved was really pleased with the outcome, but, if you look deeper, things below the surface weren't all they should have been. Neither my friend or I took a role of leadership; we just left it to the undertow to push us along. My friend got through on the back of my work and I got through by wanting to get something done so badly that I wouldn't stop to let true collaboration (and, in a way, leadership) take place. With those descriptions in mind, neither of us were leaders or role models. We followed a stream of action and ended up in roles that we would never prescribe to others as a way to live. In this situation, it worked out where there was a successful outcome, but the means of which it was made were not appropriate.   

Going forward, I know that there's a lot to be taken from the situation though. I love my friend and harbor no resentment in regards to the situation, in fact, I actually kind of think about this as a learning moment. I have a strong personality and I am really receptive to comments and criticism, but I don't tend to openly seek it. In this case, maybe if I had communicated better and sought out more constructive criticism and collaboration, this event could have gone from being great to astounding; we could have gone from followers to leaders; we could have actualized the role model figures we wanted for ourselves in the situation. That whole "it's not the destination, but the journey that matters in life" spiel that we hear oh so often in our lives was actually given meaning to me in this event, and I appreciate that. The end result gave others something to take away, but the journey is what gave the venture any kind of purpose for me, and honestly, I couldn't be any happier to have "failed".